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Blonde Jokes
Do not be offended by these jokes there just for laughs
 
Why do blondes wear panties?
To keep there ankles warm!
 
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? 
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"

What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? 
Bobbing for Bimbos

Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on? 
Because it said, "Sorry, try again

 What does a blonde owl say? 
What, what?

 Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?
They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet!

How do you confuse a blonde? 
You don't. They're born that way.

What do you call a blonde mother-in-law? 
An air bag.

How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
She gets the Pop Tarts out of the toaster in one piece. 

Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!

 

What does a blonde think an innuendo is? 
An Italian suppository.

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
She heard that the drinks were on the house.

What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?

Once their on their back they're both f*****

  • Yo mama jokes
  • Don't be offended by these either I'm blonde AND fat
  • Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat a**
  • Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
  • Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!
  • Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.
  • Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
  • Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seat belts.
  • Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that says: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
  • Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.
  • Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
  • Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits.
  • Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.
  • Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.
  • Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
  • Yo mama's so fat, God created her, and on the seventh day he rested.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "D***
  • Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
  • Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
  • Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.
  • Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!
  • Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!
  • Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.

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